Tending the Eclectic Kinder-Garden

…when you sneak away for an afternoon and wander through some local antique malls!

It’s a 1950’s advertisement for refrigerators, but what caught my eye was the word “femineered.”  Femineered?  Femineered?

“Women dreamed them, home economists planned them…”  And just what did the femineers want as features in their refrigerators?  A bottle opener in the door latch, an “egg-o-mat” that would dispense eggs, one or two at a time, and an “exclusive diffuse-o-lite,” to light the “entire interior without glare.”

Here’s the outside:

…and the inside…

The Canada Science and Technology Museum has a collection it features about historical Marketing, Design and Consumerism,  and shares:

Magazines, brochures and trade catalogues in the 1950s liberally promoted the image of the attractive and pleasant “homemaker” to tout the merits of electric ranges. Manufacturers appealed to Canadian women consumers’ dreams of grandeur by comparing their appliances to gems, with the notions of “deluxe,” “imperial” or “royal” embodied in the chrome or gold-plated decorations, dazzling colours, and ease of operation, and conferring upon them the virtue of being “femineered from top to bottom.” As early as the 1920s, commercial catalogues suggested that the stove was “as important as your husband.”

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Thank goodness for today’s ephemera humor!

(magnet found at Ephemera Inc.)

Tags: ephemera, humor

Though I’m a chocoholic, here’s what I’ve been craving and enjoying this summer:

Yep, apples, celery, raisins, and walnuts.

My family doesn’t care for this salad (more for me!), so I only make enough for one:

1 apple

2 or 3 stalks of celery

1/4 cup of raisins

1/4 cup of chopped walnuts

1 tsp. of mayo, just enough to coat the apples so they don’t brown too quickly

Chop up the apple and celery stalks, toss in the raisins and walnuts, and coat with the mayo.  It’s even better if the apple and celery have chilled in the fridge overnight- cool, crispy, fruity and green at the same time.  I suggest you make this the same day you plan on eating it as the apples still brown rather quickly, and if the salad is left overnight in the fridge, the walnuts and raisins get soggy.

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Dear Daughter is expressing interest in learning about “meal preparation.”  In tiny, baby increments. She’s good at mac and cheese, makes a terrific toasted ham/cheese/potato chip sandwich, and has learned how to make chicken flavored ramen noodles.  I know, I know, basic stuff.  Today she had some excess broth left over from the noodles as Toddler only wants “oodles” when it comes to ramen, no “juice.”  For a reason that still escapes me, she put the left over broth into a glass, intending to let it cool off completely before pouring it into a sippy cup for the toddler, to see if he likes the taste of it.  I asked her how she’d explain the “juice” to him.

She said she’ll tell him it’s chicken juice.  From freshly squeezed chickens.

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*Michelle at Scribbit shares her Aunt Nancy’s recipe for Asian Chicken Salad (hey, more ramen!)

*If fruit smoothies are more your style, The Pioneer Woman Cooks a Blueberry Yogurt Smoothie (the color alone will amaze you!)…

*Amy at AngryChicken is making me wonder just where, oh where in my yard I can plant rhubarb, so I can make Rhubarb Hand Pie.

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Finding so many great blogs since my spring blogroll update means I’ll have to try to find time to update my links before school starts.  I’ll keep you posted!

Tags: family, humor, recipes

Tags: humor

After getting my daughter on the plane to see her grandparents this morning, I have to say I know another job I hope to never have: baggage inspector. It joins the rest of my do-not-ever-hope-to-be list of occupations: garbage collector, sewer maintenance repairman, surgeon (needles I can handle, literal blood and guts, not so much), and mortician.

Dear Daughter already had her boarding pass pre-printed at home, and wasn’t checking any luggage, but in order to guide her all the way to her gate, I had to obtain a parent’s pass at the ticket counter. Not a problem. We grabbed a quick bite to eat at Burger King in the terminal, and headed upstairs to the security checkpoint. It was a rather long series of two lines since the first few flights of the morning were scheduled to leave in the next hour, but pilots mingled and chatted pleasantly with the passengers as everyone slipped off shoes, wrangled belts out of belt loops, with several young women wriggling out of tons of cheap jewelry and accessories that kept setting the alarm beeper thingies off.

After my daughter and I made it through the scanner beep and alarm-free, the only unpleasant, sour people we encountered informed my daughter her carry on would have to be searched. Yep, the baggage inspectors. Turns out her ziploc baggie carrying her toiletries was too large and that two of her three items surpassed the 3 ounce limit. Surprising, because the two items were a two-thirds used tube of toothpaste (and yes, it was obviously MORE than half used) and a half empty 4 ounce bottle (half would be TWO ounces) of sunscreen. Apparently the original container size itself determines whether or not the ever-deadly gingivitis fighter and its sidekick, anti-cancer cream make it on board. Dear Daughter said there wasn’t a problem, she’d just ask Grandma and Grandpa to let her stop by the store once she landed to replace the toothpaste and sunscreen.

To which Grumpy, the baggage inspector replied:

“Fine. But YOU (meaning me) need to take this downstairs, to your car, and then you can come back up here.”

I told Grumpy in a purposefully pleasant voice that if I took the toothpaste and sunscreen to my car, I’d have to go to the ticket counter, obtain another pass, then wait in another line to come through security, and therefore MISS getting my daughter to her gate. “Would it be possible to just dispose of those items here so I can make sure she doesn’t miss her flight?” Smile, smile, pleasant pleasant…

Grumpy growled. Oh yes, she growled. “Fine.”  Then she slapped the lid down on Dear Daughter’s carry on case, and shoved the case down the roller ramp.

I couldn’t resist: “Thank you!”  (smile, smile, smile) “Have a great day!” (beam, beam, beam)

Perhaps Grumpy was just ending a long, difficult shift.  Maybe Grumpy had had a tough morning at home.  Maybe Grumpy is just G-R-U-M-P-Y.

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*Perhaps installing one of these Passive Aggressive Anger Release Machines would help… (I’m not kidding! Go take a look!)

*…or maybe a hug from a Softie made from scraps would better soothe the inner-Grump?

I’ve spent my stay-at-home-mommy-year blogging, crafting, reading, crocheting, baking, and reading some more, discovering fun new things to try, and searching out necessary materials and supplies at craft stores, yard sales, etc. Yesterday I thought I’d sort through all of the pretty ribbons I had found or bought this year so I could show and share them for my usual Thursday post.

I underestimated the widespread appeal of the ribbon however. I also underestimated my toddler’s determination to satiate his interest in “helping Mommy” with the ribbons. And I committed the ultimate faux pas: I turned my back on the toddler while he was in my crafting area. With…the…ribbon. ALL…of…the…ribbon.

Did I get a photo of the resulting tangled-ribbon-noodle-like-mess on my floor? Uh, no~I couldn’t take a picture because I was too busy putting myself in a much-needed Time Out. Just superimpose ribbons over the toys in this bedroom shot in your mind to get a feel for the mess I enabled the boy to create:

While I was rolling my ribbon back onto their spools, a miracle occurred! I got an email from Michael’s Craft Store with a fifty-percent-off coupon in it. I took a break from the grosgrain and satin, and searched the store online when lo and behold, a link for Martha Stewart Crafts took me to a page featuring ribbon storage boxes. Michael’s and Martha~ how did they know?

Here’s the midpoint:

(Did you notice there’s no sign of the toddler? I learned my lesson, and had Sister take him out to play in the water while I rolled, sorted, and organized!)

Muuuuuuucccccchhhhhhhhhhhh better:

Earthy browns, blacks, and black/white:

Golds, cream, white, and an extra roll of patriotic red/white/blue:

Purples, greens, yellow and orange:

Blues…

Solid pinks:

Patterned pinks and reds:

And look! With the lids closed, you can still see a little peek of what’s inside. Once we’re in our new home and my craft area is established, little tails of ribbon will stick out of the slots… just so my toddler can yank on them and unspool them onto the floor…AGAIN!

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*Don’t forget, Sunday is Father’s Day!

*The Pioneer Woman Cooks Cowboy Nachos

*GoodyBlog posted about Velcro’s Birthday (and shared a photo of a much-desired-by-me Velcro WALL…here toddler-toddler-toddler, here toddler-toddler-toddler)

*And how about a blog written by a dad? Perfect for this Father’s Day weekend!
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Tags: crafts, humor, links, toddler

Tags: humor, muppets, video

Can you tell? It’s me!

Thanks to Kevin for the link to MakeBeliefsComix.com!

Tags: links

My sleep habits:

*Long-gone are the days when I could stay up for forty-eight hours, and still be productive and pleasant. Like twenty years ago long-gone.

*Toddlers and teens need extra sleep. So does this extra tired mommy of a toddler and teen. Unfortunately, there’s a conspiracy working against me: if I get to bed by nine, the toddler wakes up at one…two-thirty. Three-forty, four-fifty, etc. If the toddler only wakes once, upon my return to bed my husband’s shake-the-house-and-rattle-the-china-in-the-dining-room snores kick in, miraculously.

My Daddy Snores

*I haven’t been able to sleep in for years. Many friends and family can actually *sleep* extra hours each weekend or when they’re on vacation, but not me. If I have to be up at five each morning during the week for work, I’m up at five on Saturday and Sunday. If I’ve been out of bed, dressed and productive by seven each day throughout the school year, so too will I be up and puttering around the house accomplishing something, anything, during summer break. After two-and-a-half months of summer vacation have finally settled themselves into my routine, I will sleep in once or twice three days before school starts again, and yes, then find myself dragging as I set up my classroom and attend professional development meetings. Murphy’s Law lives at my house.

*I run through my mental checklist before bed each night: did I lock the doors? Set up the coffee pot? Start the dishwasher? Make sure the door to the litter box is open for the cat’s evening activities? Brush my teeth? Blow out the candles? Check on the toddler?

*During both of my stay-at-home-mommy years, I’ve ended up resorting to afternoon naps with the then infant now toddler. Naps are only for students when I’m back to work.

Naptime is the New Happy Hour

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Here’s a pretty little sleep mask by HeadtoToe:

Though my twisted sense of humor also finds the “nightmare sleep masks” made by FreakyOldWoman entertaining:

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Tags: books, humor, links

…and then *admit* you too, have some prom photos that have come back to haunt you!

In honor of my eldest son, who will be attending his first prom this weekend, here are some blasts from the past (and yet more proof that I have always loved playing “dress-up”) along with a challenge:

I *dare* my readers to dig through your photo boxes, albums and shoeboxes to find evidence of your own formal fashion “foo-paws” from yesteryear- and POST THEM, linking back here so that I can see!

In fact, I *double-dog-dare you!*

My first prom (I was thirteen) was in an Eskimo village!

Another blue gown that I also wore the year before (nope, not sharing THOSE photos!), this time shortened, for Prom #3.

Prom #4, still in Alaska, only this time outside of Squarebanks, with my dear friend Jodi. She wore lilac, I wore white…

Only to follow it up with a black lace dress for my Senior Prom. The photo doesn’t show it, but boy did I have 1987 BIG HAIR!

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Have fun Boy- I can’t wait to see your photos!

Tags: family, fashion, humor, photos

Friday’s chores: go grocery shopping, check. Put groceries away, check. Clean house, check. Excavate desk, check. Peruse some newly discovered blogs, check. Return to the “cleaning” theme and sort through digital photos that have been collecting virtual dust in a “deal with it later” file on the desktop…check!

Grandpa loves these photos, being a “boots” kind of guy himself. Over the last two years, guests to our home have often complimented us on the “distressed” look of our furniture.

Umm…. it wasn’t always “distressed:”

Yep, that IS the toddler doing a little stompy dance… on top of our coffee table!

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In case you were wondering, why *yes,* I do know Santa (having lived in North Pole, Alaska):

**In fact, I know him so well that I’ll let you in on a little secret…he likes Harleys (and little stompy boys)!**

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This is our cat:

This is our cat getting ready to go into stalk-mode because the neighbors have a teeny tiny little yipper dog (see her intently watching the neighbor who is carrying said prey?):

One of these mornings, when the timing is *just right* and the neighbor puts the dog down and turns away, I’m guessing our cat will make a run for the wall, sail into their yard, and then freak out because she hadn’t thought of what to do next!

She’s kind of a …wuss.

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~ThinkGeek is featuring an item that could be my new favorite never-be-without-it item, an electronic bubble wrap keychain
~ Creature Comforts found some femme reusable grocery bags that make it easier to go green (I want the girly ones!)~ For those of living in zones where spring flowers are in short supply, why not make them? Making tissue paper flowers is one of my favorite crafts in late April (especially years where May 1 falls on a school day so my students can deliver May Day bouquets and posies to other classrooms) and there are some gorgeous colored and patterned papers out there that could be layered to beautiful effect!

~ Finally, I thought THESE were flowers when I first saw the photo pop onto my screen while reading Smitten Kitchen’s blog, but noooooo….they’re taters!

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I hope you are enjoying a fun, fabulous Friday!

Tags: family, humor, links, photos